Bond in Review: A View to a Kill

I really like the James Bond franchise. This is part fifteen of a behind schedule, bimonthly, 24-part series of me watching James Bond movies and providing a stream of consciousness style commentary for a given film. I will also rank the movies so stay tuned for that at the bottom of the piece. Sir Roger Moore’s final movie as Bond is A View to a Kill. He is looking and moving very old in this one but it captures the essence of Moore’s Bond: fundamentally silly with some seriousness, strong song, and a formula that does feel a bit tired. All that said, CHRISTOPHER WALKEN IS HERE WITH A HEAD OF HAIR THAT IS WILD. And is that Grace Jones? You bet! This movie takes its name from the short story “From a View to a Kill” which is a fantastic read first published as part of the For Your Eyes Only short stories collection in April 1960.

· And wow we have a disclaimer! This is based on the realization that there was a fashion company called Zoran Ladicorbic that existed at the same time

· Gun barrel looks young, movie feels old.

· Bond in the snow is a very good way to start a movie and wow there is someone frozen to death. Or dead and frozen. Either way — I like the concept

· It shouldn’t surprise anyone but he isn’t on location at any of these scenes. This is all sound stage work.

· The scoring of this movie is so good. I really like this 80s feel with the horns and an electric guitar added over

· Microchips…so hip.

· You know it was an 80s movie because the stunt explosions and work in general (hip banging to get the ski off) is too close for comfort

· So Bond invented snow boarding?!

· I cannot figure out why we are getting a Beach Boys cover of “California Girls” during this scene. Cannot. It is one of the worst moments of the franchise.

· Bond pinned down behind a block of ice and you have an AK-47. I need a bit more success from you even if you are a predestined to fail henchman

· Iceberg submarine seems silly — because it is — but apt for our climate change world

· So is this Bond’s submarine thing or is this official government property? Because there is no way a spy vehicle needs to have all that soft, plush seating.

· HE IS TOO OLD!

· So I cannot help myself: this movie made me a fan of Duran Duran. And this song is a top 3 James Bond song.

· Duran Duran: “A View to a Kill”

· Maurice Binder with the titles here and you’d think this movie was all about fire and ice. I suppose we get fire later but we are pretty much done skiing.

· John Williams and Duran Duran used a 60-piece orchestra to record this. I approve.

· Bond and Moneypenny talking is, shockingly, the only age appropriate interaction between Bond and a woman all movie

· Chekhov’s dog robot?

· Q is continuously irritated by people not reading his memos but everyone seems to be annoyed with Q who is just behaving as the most informed and competent person in the room

· Defense Minister is always asking questions and stating the most obvious conclusions

· And apparently the Minister of the Defense is not about bothering Max Zorin.

· LOOK AT YOUNG WALKEN! Speaks five languages but all with a peculiar style of speech

· And Grace Jones in the red and black. What an amazingly awkward pairing. All in!

· Tibbett does a small thing I love in these movies: refer to people by their rank, in this case, in the Navy. M is an Admiral and refers to him as such.

· Is Q suggesting that Mayday is naturally strong or on steroids?

· Awkward horse/human camera shots here. After that Never Say Never Again mess, you need to be careful with animals.

· So I need to confess something: This movie made me believe that there was a restaurant in the Eiffel Tower. I learned WAY TOO late in life that this is totally made up. Darn you Bond movie.

· French entertainment — a poetry of butterflies and whistles in the Eiffel Tower

· Mayday with an effective slapper. Rare that Bond is not giving the slapper here.

· Was there poison on that hook? I would never want to be hooked in the neck but would I bed dead? I doubt it.

· Superspy James Bond almost foiled by a fishing pole. Naturally.

· Moore looks painfully slow

· Real BASE jumping off the Eiffel Tower is pretty great. Riding on top of an elevator going down — also cool.

· Really selling the “bumbling French cabby” bit

· Half car bit! This, apparently front wheel drive car, had its own fuel cell in the front so it could drive.

· Here is something I never understood: why is Zorin picking up Mayday? He has henchmen for this and he is so recognizable after we slowly watched a person parachute off the Eiffel Tower onto a boat. Lots of bystanders!

· The first half of this movie is about horses. It is such a weak plot device because none of this matters

· Bond’s alias is St. John Smythe. I had no idea because this guy is saying Sinjin Smyyythe.

· Did Bond not get a brief on this mission or is he acting intentionally idiotic? I suppose both could be useful features of the spying but very odd

· Tibbett really does put in an incredible turn as Bond’s helper with the chauffeuring duties and poking around

· Jenny Flex — lazy name work. Alison Doody should be familiar to those who like Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade as she was also working for the bad side in that film

· Innuendo game hasn’t aged at all. In the saddle of course.

· I wonder how the recording session went for Tibbett and Bond — or how they had enough time to do it all

· Zorin is the blondest man in France. How can he just be in a speedboat to pick up Mayday?!?! That is so irritating

· These sunglasses are a genuinely interesting and cool gadget. I think its forgotten and underrated.

· So, this second gadget to get what was written on the check is used by the FBI forensics lab. I’d know because I did something similar for a science project

· Bob Connelly — nice thick southern accent to connote AmeriCAN

· Camera ring — another good gadget

· Walken is really at his peak here. Going to the drink, stopping, and then not drinking. “I’m happiest *pause* in the saddle.” Too good!

· Tanya Roberts. Not her best performance. “No, I didn’t.”

· Bond is dripping with poor pick up lines and long looks. Here is the thing: Bond is so old. Older than Tanya Roberts’ mother in this movie. They have no chemistry and it shows.

· “Quite a let down” — real joker this guy

· Small detail but I am pleased that Bond is cracking safes without some fancy technology. Shows the spy still has it

· OH, THE HORSE RACING BIT IS CONNECTED TO THE MICROCHIPS! It’s all coming together

· Where was Bond hiding that he just leaned over and punched a man who didn’t see him?

· Bond is firing off puns as often as he is shooting people. It’s a comedy.

· Zorin learning to fight/working on fighting with Mayday is good. It’s unfortunate that we don’t get to see Zorin fight based on these skills.

· Zorin’s facial expressions leaving Mayday to “take care of Bond” are top notch

· They have all this security and concern but no security cameras? C’mon industrialist.

· “A little restless but I got off eventually.” Pun game is strong

· Oh a camera system behind the mirror. Useful.

· Walken and these reactions! He really likes a computer

· Horse named Inferno…I’m sure fire won’t come into play later…dance into the fire…

· Putting that gorgeous car through that janky car wash is so unacceptable.

· The Tibbett killing is shot really really well. Don’t need to see every second but its menacing and scary enough.

· The Zorin half chuckle is a good acting choice.

· The music change and the woods really reminds me of Moonraker and the Corrine death.

· Mayday doesn’t need to wear the hat but it makes the troll move much better

· I am ashamed to admit how many Zorin-isms I use in my day to day life. Soft spot for this movie.

· Again, just shoot him instead of knocking him unconscious. Smart move though to stand and wait to make sure he doesn’t pop up.

· Mythbusters busted the idea that you can use air in a tire to breath underwater. It’s a cool idea though.

· Zorin and Gogol is a fantastic scene. Gogol is boiling over and Zorin is so interested in the horses and dismissive. I like this scene.

· “YOU JEOPARDIZE MINE!”

· Dolph Lundgren with the cameo as KGB helper. Role acquired because he was dating Grace Jones. Nice look they exchanged.

· Also, Mayday is just picking up and throwing folks left and right. Maybe she has taken her vitamins

· What is so amusing to Zorin?

· The villainous speech plus the rising model of Silicon Valley is built for Walken.

· Another tick — the “hmmph” eye raise.

· So lets just all admit that the reveal of the conference room being in a blimp was genuinely surprising. Also, blimps!

· “what a view…” “…to a kill.” is a terrible way to force the title in the movie.

· “James Bonding” made a fantastic point: how is “soft shelled crab” the code word and how is this CIA agent not always revealing himself to whomever asks about those crabs? He knows who Bond is when he sees him so there is no need for the codeword, right? HELP

· Nazis then Russian steroid psychotic babies. Playing the hits!

· Zorin appears to be jovial but very serious. And has a clear line of responsibility for failures on his projects. Leadership though isn’t strongest: “Fix it.”

· This is a violent movie. Roger Moore was never a fan of the violence but as the 1980s continued, the trend was too much to overcome

· That should’ve been Barbara Bach from The Spy Who Loved Me instead it’s an entirely new character which we have no attachment to

· “James Stock.” He must be struggling with memory as every cover needs to have “James” as the first name.

· I have no idea how that credit card works. It went from red to green. Did it unlock an electronic lock because it didn’t look like it

· I wasn’t paying attention to the movie while typing the above note and that car gave me a jump scare. AWFUL

· Theoretically, he would be shotgunning these folks to a gory death. The rock salt really does take it down a bunch

· Love this scoring to this slow-moving fight.

· The cat making noise during the fight with the scoring sounds an awful lot like the Nazi father at the end of the movie yelling “Max”

· Bond gave a slapper in that fight but not a lethal one

· That’s a very elaborate outfit for a dinner at home. Also, for a reporter it’s weird he would be wandering around her house and stepping into a shower

· Too many cat shots

· Get it…some serious sexual tension after dinner

· THERE IS NO WAY HE CONNECTED THE PHONE IN DARKNESS

· The process shots of the house that slowly zoom in are very old school and disturbing.

· Apparently, everyone should be checking their backseats before driving away

· Zorin walking in at this exact time makes no sense at all. I suppose he gets information that they are there from the CIA agent but why is he there?

· Zorin stating the obvious like a movie water “you two have joined forces” is charming

· That was the quickest 911 call ever.

· “intuitive improvisation…it’s the secret to genius.”

· Another quip about him landing and another Walken head nod and face.

· Oh looks like an inferno in city hall

· So is the metal not hot all of the sudden? Everything should be extremely hot to the touch

· Suddenly, we are now going to watch this from the perspective of a homeless person?

· What is stereotypical Chicago police officer doing on the scene?

· Just nothing but deadweight and no firefighters to help Bond on the ladder until the bottom?

· This firetruck chase is so over the top and decidedly unnecessary. It is cool that Roger Moore is driving the firetruck for large parts of the chase

· The overacting by Chicago’s finest SF police officer is so bad. Like needlessly bad.

· Real question: more Bond puns or Zorin responsible deaths?

· That car falling off the top of the bridge section is frightening to see but what a goofus for getting on him about how he will pay for the repairs.

· “On your rear end” in a thick American accent. Superspy indeed.

· And of course, a reference to women in the Teamsters. Progressively sexist.

· The mine has the feel and treatment of an evil villainous lair but its just a mine. Also is giving off strong Indiana Jones vibes.

· Here is the issue with this room: the master plan has a model that is sitting in the room under a sheet. And Ms. Sutton knows how to operate all of this.

· Roger Ebert famously crushed this plot because Zorin wants to get rid of Silicon Valley to dominate the microchip industry but the main products that use microchips are located in…Silicon Valley. He would be getting ride of his main source of income all at once. Tsk.

· Zorin obviously didn’t do well in marksman training with the KGB

· Oh Bob Connelly learned the evil reality of business: loyalty gets you very few places with greedy CEOs

· This movie does have a ton of death by the villain. Like directly on his hands as he is just murdering the construction crew

· Runs things on a tight schedule which I do appreciate about Zorin. But wow…that was a lot.

· Great climbing work Stacey.

· So Mayday and Bond are not allies — heartbreak can lead to awful consequences.

· How many switches are required to get a blimp going?

· Legitimate scream by Grace Jones when that special effect went off as they waded through the water. She didn’t know it was happening

· Scoring the acquisition of the fuse and retrieval is pretty good to be honest

· The Mayday name really is perfect just for the Zorin saying it in absolute shock.

· I absolutely hate Stacey yelling “James” throughout this movie.

· Also, how does she not hear a blimp coming up behind her?

· They really do maximize San Francisco and the Golden Gate Bridge as a site. Fully use it.

· Wow, Bond really can tie anyone into a knot.

· Zorin’s weakness: every problem is addressed by more power.

· Sneak attack is effective. I get that. How did Zorin not see Stacey was about to hit Scarpine?

· This ending fight is a bit disappointing because the stunt people could only grapple on the actual Golden Gate Bridge. I get that but it’s a bit basic.

· I will tell you that the wild fighting style feels like Dominic Greene in Quantum of Solace

· Was the Nazi genius going to throw a stick of dynamite at Bond?! Thinking on the fly was not a strength apparently

· Bond being intimate with Stacy is worse than death

· Oh yeah, the spy robot is being put to use in this awful scene.

So that is the end of the Roger Moore era. He throws in the towel after a bonkers movie with him making out with someone 30 years younger. This movie isn’t very good but Zorin is fantastic and the silliness of the movie makes it hard to turn off when it’s on. I know I will not rate this “properly” but at least you know I know it’s a trainwreck. On to the rankings:

1) From Russia With Love

2) Goldfinger

3) OHMSS

4) The Spy Who Loved Me

5) Live and Let Die

6) Dr. No

7) Octopussy

8) The Man with the Golden Gun

9) A View to a Kill

10) Moonraker

11) For Your Eyes Only

12) YOLT

13) Diamonds Are Forever

14) Thunderball

15) Never Say Never Again